Good Stuff from Rene: Volume 2 – Labeling Yourself

A friend of mine just launched her first online, self-study course – Let’s Meet For Copy And Pull The Creative Right Out Of You. I have the entrepreneurial bug, and I love talking with her about her business, her goals and the course.

I previewed the class before the official launch, and it was awesome. It’s all about how to write your blog or newsletter, which coincidentally, I need to write. I had some writing classes in high school and college a million years ago, but haven’t done much writing since, so this was definitely perfect timing. ESPECIALLY because after I wrote the first newsletter, I knew I’d have to write another and another and didn’t have any ideas. What on earth was it supposed to be about, anyway? Enter Tara. 

In one of her first lessons, she said to think about 5-7 main messages that you want to cover in all of your content. What are you writing about specifically? What do you want to share with people? What can they expect from you?

I thought about it, and here they are:

• WordPress and the Web
• Freelancing and entrepreneurship
• Productivity and goal-setting
• Money and finances
• Life and philosophy
• Learning
• Hobbies (projects, crafts, reading, going outside, traveling, exercise)

If you’re not interested in any of these topics, you should probably unsubscribe. (We can still be friends, though!) But if you know of anyone who would be, forward this baby on to them or tell them to head on over to my site and sign up.

And if you ARE interested in these topics, great! You’re in the right place. Sit tight, we have a lot of good content coming. (Thanks Tara!)

Labels

We went camping over the weekend. Proof.

If you had asked me a few years ago to go camping, I would have laughed in your face. “I don’t like camping” would have been my G-rated response. If you had told me that I would have been the one to suggest this vacation, I wouldn’t have believed you.

I had a view of myself, saw myself in a certain way. I was not outdoorsy. I enjoyed all forms of indoor plumbing, clean clothes and electricity.

But two years ago, something changed. (Actually, I’m not going to lie. A lot of things changed.)

I realized that I didn’t want my son to associate certain activities with men and others with women. If I didn’t take him camping, maybe he would grow up thinking that women didn’t camp? I didn’t want that.

Around the same time, I was at a party hanging out with a coworker and her husband. I didn’t know them very well, but we were having a good time. We ended up talking about camping and apparently they are BIG outdoor people. They spend their non-work time camping, hiking and biking. They invited us to go later that summer, and I said yes.

One might call this serendipity. 

We went, and something unexpected happened. I liked it. (Trust me, I’m as surprised as you are.)

(Actually, before we went, I dragged my significant other and son on a trip to “figure everything out” so that I wouldn’t look like a total noob going with my new friends. But I liked that too!) 

I found that… I like being outside. I feel different outside. I feel like a better version of myself – more calm and relaxed than I normally am, and I like feeling that way.

Now don’t get me wrong, camping this weekend was a little rough. There were a lot of mosquitoes, and the specific place we camped is not on my short list of places to visit again. We also stayed in a campground with hot showers and flush toilets. However, we did stay in a tent.

Going camping and finding out that I liked it challenged the assumptions I held about myself.

We all have an identity – how we think we are and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. These could be things that people have told us in the past that we accepted unconditionally and internalized. Or maybe we try to set ourselves apart from others by applying certain labels.

There is nothing wrong with most things we tell ourselves. It’s okay not to like an activity and knowing yourself is a great way to live a kick-ass life.

But ask yourself – are you using the label as an excuse to not participate in life fully? Is it holding you back from doing something that you want to do? Is it something you want to change? Do you want to be different? 

Not only did I try something new and find out that I liked it, I learned that maybe I’m not as fixed as I think I am.

I hold other assumptions too, or have in the past, some of which I have been forced to abandon due to evidence to the contrary such as…

Assumption: I don’t like the outdoors.
Evidence to the contrary: We just went camping! I also like biking, taking walks and picnics. Guess what? Those things all happen outside.

Assumption: I don’t exercise. The only time I’d run is if I was being chased by zombies.
Evidence to the contrary: I’ve completed two C25K programs. I ran a 5K a few months ago and ran THE WHOLE THING at a pace of 10 and a half minutes per mile. (This is epic for me.) I have plans to run another later this year. I’ve done some form of exercise twice a week for the past 14 weeks.

Assumption: I don’t like X, Y or Z foods. 
Evidence to the contrary: Thai summer rolls from the Green Mango are my new favorite. We’ve ordered them at least 10 times in the past 6 months.

And there are others that I still struggle with…

Assumption: I’m uptight and inflexible.
Evidence to the contrary: I CAN be uptight, but I’m not ALWAYS uptight. I have a tendency to think in absolutes, which is something else I’m trying to work on.

Assumption: I can’t say no to sweets, or pass on a cookie.
Evidence to the contrary: This is hard for me. I believe that these things are facts, and then they come to pass.

Assumption: I’m shy and can’t network. I’m not sociable.
Evidence to the contrary: I’m okay at talking to people if I just get out of my own way and stop over thinking it. Plus, there are TONS of resources out there that could help me out. Like this one. And practice, right? Go out and do it!

So, I’m a work in progress.

What about you? What do you tell yourself that’s holding you back? Maybe you’re “not good with money” or “not creative” or “forgetful”? Maybe you “never finish a project”? Do you want to change? Is there a way you can alter your thinking and find resources to move forward?

I believe in you. We’re always changing, and the only thing that is constant is change so we might as well embrace it.

On My Mind

Find the thing you’re most passionate about, then do it on nights and weekends for the rest of your life. I can totally relate as I try to navigate working all day, spending time with my favorite people in the evenings and preparing for a career change.

Can you shop your way to happiness? TLDR; When you buy something awesome and then want more awesome things because your old things now seem super crappy by comparison. Also when we’re buying things, what we’re really trying to buy is a better version of ourselves. I get chills when I read or hear something that hits so close to home.

Patagonia apparently has fantastic work-family balance. Read the section How to scale it for the specific details and What work-life balance can look like for a typical day. Is this real?

What’s on your mind today? Have a question about something you read or want to chat? Just hit reply – I’d love to hear from you!

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Like what you read? Forward to a friend or tweet me some love!

P.P.S. New here? Catch up on my past newsletters.